I have an iPhone. To say that I love it is an understatement. It is so much more than a phone. It is practically a living creature in my life. I bought it, I gave it Apps, it treats me well. I hope it doesn’t get any diseases that need time away from Mommy.
Last month I downloaded a learning game for Seven. The Zoo Friends Matching Game or something like that. It was free. I imagined Sev wouldn’t have a clue what to do with it, as it’s pretty much a digital version of that cardboard Memory Game. But honestly, I showed him ONCE how to make a match, and he was off and running.
Dumbest thing I ever did, folks. That child at age 2 can flip through my iPhone faster than you can say Facebook. He can solve the 20 card Match Game in one minute flat. He can call my father or anyone else in my contact list on his own, and does so when I am not looking. He sends bizarre text messages to strangers. He loves the iPod feature. In his 2 year old world, here are the best loved Apps:
- Match Game (aka Match Game)
- Giraffe Game (aka Preschool Playground) His favorite of the “games” on this App? The picture taking setting “Photo Safari”. Different backgrounds, like a dessert, a waterfall, a room, the beach. You shuffle through items to add the the locale and then you can snap a picture of it, which is then placed in your actual Photo Library. His favorite thing to add to a picture? Shrubs. He LOVES the word shrubbery. (Get your mind out of the gutter.) And now? I have umpteen photos of his wild ass safari adventures, with couches on the seashore, coffee, zebras, flamingos and, umm, shrubbery.
- Scream Game (aka The Impossible Quiz) He just likes to get wrong answers and hear the screaming.
- Recipe Game (aka All Recipes) – He never loses, everyone’s a winner here.
- Cheese Game (aka the Digital Camera) – Hence…Cheese!
- Bucket Game (aka Paper Football) – Basically you just keep tossing a paper football into a trashcan. Mind numbing.
- Deer game (Some kind of Deer Hunting game. He’s a good shot.)
- Music Game (aka the iPod) He has his favorites out of my 400 songs, and knows how to find them on his own. Absolute faves? Galway Girl by Steve Earle, Cheater Cheater by Joey & Rory, All the Single Ladies by Beyonce, and anything at all by P!nk. Nothing like hearing your toddler sing about a “white trash ho.” Fantastic.
Now, those are HIS favorite Apps. Me? I love being able to get my mail, anywhere, anytime. I also like the Facebook updates and my Tweetdeck. Heck, I am even IN an iPhone App – Strawberries. I have a recipe in there for Devils Food layer cake. But as of yet, I don’t think they have developed the Apps I need.
Kiting App – (aka The App that shuffles money from one checking account to another until you can get to one of the banks to deposit some actual cash in it so that the electric company doesn’t turn off your lights.)
Coupon-Less App (aka the App that allows you to scan in the barcode from your Sunday Circular coupons and saves them there until you go to the store, then the cashier just downloads all of them from your phone)
The SweetJesusHelpMe App (aka the App that senses your frustration with a gabbing weirdo who WillNotShutUp and is creeping you out and you KNOW you could get away from if ONLY someone would just call. Maybe it could read your heart rate or something, and ring a little more loudly than usual.)
The Delivery App (aka The App that calls Food Lion to let them know you are out of milk, or sugar, or Toaster Strudel, and they send someone right up with it, your credit card being on file. And you get to stay in your pajamas.)
The Clapp (aka the App that can read from one touch whether or not it is safe to go to bed with that hottie at the bar. Gonorrhea? The HIV? Herpes? Find out before you put out. ) No, this is NOT an App I need, but wow, what a concept for all you single folk out there.
So…if YOU could develop an App, what would YOU want? Who knows, maybe Apple is reading…
{ 10 comments… read them below or add one }
My husband was just telling me the other night about an idea he had — downloading coupons onto a flash drive, then taking that to the store and plugging it in a register to access them. I told him about your Coupon-Less App, and he said, "I'm gonna sue her for stealing my idea!"
Wouldn't that be funny? 'Gas jockey sues blogger for rights to impossible-to-implement idea'.
It would be great to use though! I'm always forgetting my coupons. Honestly, I think he just came up with the idea because when I do remember to take the coupons to the store, I make him hold them in his hand the entire time so we don't forget to use them.
The "Kiting" or "Rob Peter to Pay Paul" app is fantastic!! I was thinking of a "Talk Me Down" or "Sweet Jesus" app. Where it would simply instruct you to breathe, count to ten, etc… before you either rammed your car into a tree, a pedestrian, another car due to road rage, before you dump your kid(s) off on the side of road because they won't stop arguing and so on, I can think of many useful applications for such an app.
Here is another, how about "You Are So Full of Sh*t" app. When someone who talk incessantly, just to hear themselves talk, yet say nothing that is relative, let alone true!! I am not quite sure what it does for you yet, other than it might convert your phone to a taser. Don't tas me bro!
Man, I need a job with Apple. I could make them a fortune.
That Clapp App! Hahaha that is HYSTERICAL! I think there is a coupon app like the one you are talking about! I'm going to find out and get back to you on that one!
And is it just me, or does it bug you out that a two year old knows how to USE A CELL PHONE. Or a computer! It makes me feel very old.
I need the app that can read your teens mind. That way you know whether or not you can speak to them without getting your head bitten off, or if they need you RIGHT NOW and you didn't know it. Far less trouble than trying to read body language and slamming doors.
Isn't it amazing how quickly they pick up on all things electronic? Is it their age or that damned y chromosome?
The conversion app. For those of us rural folks who can't just hop on over to our grocery store for some ground ginger. It'll convert ingredients we don't have into something we do!
We don't have popsicle sticks, but damn do we have lots of shishkebab skewers! Those work. Someday, all the 100 rural people who have an iPhone will pay 99 cents for my new app and I'll be rich enough to buy some Popsicle sticks off of amazon.
P.S. My 13 yr old son has an iTouch…did you know they have FART apps??? Seriously, its his best, funnest game ever. Don't let Seven get a hold of that one.
オナニー
逆援助
SEX
フェラチオ
ソープ
逆援助
出張ホスト
手コキ
おっぱい
フェラチオ
中出し
セックス
デリヘル
包茎
逆援
性欲
My son knows my Android phone is off limits but he is now dab hand with the mouse on the Mac. He can navigate all the games on Cbeebies site and operate the remote control to play games on the extra features of his dvds. His speech therapist said yesterday he'd "probably be the sort of child who hacks into the ministry of defence website by the age of 12". I am slightly nervous about this as it has air of truth about it.
I'd like an app that spirits my mom, star trek style from 100 miles away to my house more often than once a month.
I just found you and I love you! I too enjoy listening to my toddlers sing "white trash ho" but was afraid to admit it. Thank you for that freedom! But my 4 year cleaned it up. When I told her that wasn't really that nice of thing to say (you know…around their grandparents) she said "don't worry mommy, I didn't say 'white trash' like you said" I only said the 'ho' part"